Moving is rough. Not only is it physically draining moving and boxing everything, but emotionally draining as you sort through the contents of your life and make decisions as to what your new life will materially look like. Being in transition for the past five-ish years, it makes it even more difficult. How do I maintain the pieces that mean so much to me in a minimal space?
The emotions also come when you realize you are leaving everything and everyone behind.
Leaving a terrific boyfriend, a loving family, and great friends in another state is not the most enjoyable thing I have done.
My first technique was to avoid crying. I thought if I could keep myself together, maybe I could avoid the whole thing and just move on like it was nothing. NOT A GOOD IDEA, and really it doesn't work. Instead, I decided to embrace the feelings and emotions that come with what is happening. In my sad moments, I allow myself to feel really sad. In my happy moments, I cherish what I have and the memories I'll be able to carry forward. Because they are just emotions that will come and go. I learned it is ok to feel. Can you imagine a life where we could not experience joy or loss?
It's difficult being diagnosed Bipolar I (BPI) to maintain level moods in times of transition. Emotional levels are erratic to begin with in my messed up brain, but add more dimensions of stress, change, with added feelings of excitement and loss all at the same time. My drug cocktail can only do so much for me. A lot of it requires a constant and tailored diet, exercise, and mental training. Yes. Mental training. Practicing techniques like mindfulness and meditation to level my moods ensures that not only will I move forward away from such a mood variance, but I will process my environment and stimuli healthily.
Obviously, it's easier said then done, and I struggle all the time with this. But the more I do it the better I get.
The key has been to look with optimism, though it is easy for me to see what I am walking away from. Like, WOW. I got into Mayo Medical School. and I have the most incredible opportunity awaiting me in Rochester. If all goes well, I may be closer to my boyfriend by January. I am starting a REAL LIFE. Soon I will be making an INCOME. Ok, not for a little while still. And of course, I am bringing Purkinje (my emotional support animal) along, so I will always have him!!!
more soon. Can't wait to show you my apartment :). Leave comments please!!
M3 at Mayo Clinic School of Medicine